Childhood Trauma (Revised)

           Today you go for a nice cool dip in the water. You have longed for this day to come. Swinging a small plastic bag containing swimsuits, you make little jumps across the sidewalk as usual. Next to you stands your mother, who is firmly holding your hand. You give a joyful grin to your mom and let go of the hand. Skipping into a locker room, you think of what kinds of adventures you will have under the water. Changing into the swim suits is when you feel the heart beat wildly, ever more excited to jump into the blue.

           A film of water makes splashing noises as little feet scurry across the wet floor towards the pool. The clear blue water shimmers as light reflects and bounces off the surfaces of different angles. Taking a deep breath, you ready to submerge. You know well how icy the water will be and shiver at the sheer thought of the temperature. Clutching poles to sustain weight, you lightly dip your toes into the water to check the temperature. The water is cold as usual.

           'Oh well. Here it goes.'

           Eyes closed tight, you plunge into the pool. Hairs react to the coldness and stand rigidly. The body gives a slight tremor, and you are ready for the aquatic experience.

            "Hi! How are you?"

           A swimming teacher happily greets her student, who is striving against the pressure of water to come a step closer to the teacher. Among all of her students in the current class, you are the smallest with skinny arms and legs that seem weak. Hoping it would be helpful, the teacher decides to strap a wearable kickboard onto you.

           Actually, you have always wanted to put on the kickboard. The board was turtle shaped, which was quite fascinating. Without much reluctance, you lock the belt and let the plastic turtle stick to your back. The turtle gives some buoyancy and lift your body close to the surface.

           "Now, hop to the end of the pool lane and come back."

           The teacher instructs a simple pool activity.

           'No problem. Piece of cake.'

           That warm-up is what you have been doing for past few days. Hoping that the plastic turtle will make the trip much easier, you slowly hop on one feet toward the end. The pool gets deeper as you go a step closer. You have a hard time propelling against the water, when you suddenly realize a terrible truth.

           'I can't touch the floor!'

           The depth of the pool reached to a point where it became deeper than your height. Worse, because of the buoyant turtle, you cannot come back down to the pool floor. To bounce up back to the air, floor is needed. Unfortunately, you stay in the middle of the water, unable to stand on the floor or rise up to take a breath of air. You panic and start to flail your arms and legs wildly in order to survive. The surface seems to be out of reach and your consciousness becomes fainter. As you think you will die by drowning, a large arm scoops you out of the waters onto a shoulder. Coughing, you feel relieved to be saved by your teacher. After that incident, the turtle never rides on your back.

Reading Journal: "Martian Chronicles" quotation

"Now I'm insane."

 

           Before Mr. Xxx committed suicide, these were his last words. Although Captain Jonathan Williams and his crew made a successful journey to Mars, the Martians thought they were psychologically troubled patients with astounding hallucinations. Actually, the tragedy was caused by the Martians' psychologically developed ability to telepathy. The "normal" earth people reading the script may feel frustrated at the stupidity of the Martians, or maybe the Martian's own insanity. However, the actions of the Martians imply that the definition of insanity can be subjective. People might actually be all insane.

           People like to define other people based on their own grounds. When another person does an action that seems abnormal in their own perspective, that person is considered "insane." However, everyone's psychological state is different; nobody can define if other person is insane or not. Maybe, the person who is defining others is insane. Then, that person views other "normal" people as insane. People's mentality is not constant, because it changes according to the environment. When everybody except that person act in an different way, that person doubts own normality. There is no boundary between insanity and normality. Even in the Martian Chronicles, Mr. Xxx, who was certain of his own normality and the insanity of Martians in the asylum, is certain of his own insanity after just a few happenings.

           Instead of regarding people who have different personalities as insane, people need to learn how to encompass the differences. Everybody is both insane and normal.

Childhood Trauma

           It is the swimming day when you go for a nice cool dip in the water. You have longed for this day to come. Swinging the small plastic bag containing swimsuits, you make little jumps across the sidewalk as usual. Next to you stands your mother, who is firmly holding the hand. You give a joyful grin to your mom and let go of the hand. Skipping into the locker room, you thinks of what kind of adventures you will have under the water. Changing into the swim suits is when you feel the heart beat wildly, ever more excited to jump into the blue.

           The film of water makes splashing noises as little feet scurry across the wet floor toward the pool. The clear blue water shimmers as light reflects and bounces off the surfaces of different angles. Taking in deep breath, the you ready to submerge. You know well how icy the water will be and shiver at the sheer thought of the temperature. Clutching the poles to sustain weight, you lightly dip your toes into the water to check the temperature. It is cold as usual.

           'Oh well. Here it goes.'

           Eyes closed tight, you plunge into the pool. The hairs react to the coldness and stand rigidly. The body gives a slight tremor, and you are ready for the aquatic experience.

            "Hi! How are you?"

           The swimming teacher happily greets her student, who is striving against the pressure of water to come a step closer to the teacher. Among all of her students in the current class, you are the smallest with skinny arms and legs that seem weak. Hoping it would be helpful, the teacher decides to strap a wearable kickboard onto you.

           Actually, you have always wanted to put on the kickboard. The board was turtle shaped, which was quite fascinating. Without much reluctance, you lock the belt and let the plastic turtle stick to your back. The turtle give some buoyancy and lift your body close to the surface.

           "Now, hop to the end of the pool lane and come back."

           The teacher instructs a simple pool activity.

           'No problem. Piece of cake.'

           That warm-up is what you have been doing for past few days. Hoping that the plastic turtle will make the trip much easier, you slowly hop on one feet toward the end. The pool gets deeper as you go a step closer. You have a hard time propelling against the water, when you suddenly realize a terrible truth.

           'I can't touch the floor!'

           The depth of the pool reached to a point where it became deeper than your height. Worse, because of the buoyant turtle, you cannot come back down to the pool floor. To bounce up back to the air, floor is needed. Unfortunately, you stay in the middle of the water, unable to stand on the floor or rise up to take a breath of air. You panic and start to flail your arms and legs wildly in order to survive. The surface seems to be out of reach and your consciousness becomes fainter. As you think you will die by drowning, a large arm scoops you out of the waters onto a shoulder. Coughing, you feel relieved to be saved by your teacher. After that incident, the turtle never rides on your back.

Fortunatley, I knew that the turtle was the problem, so I did not become afraid of the waters :)