To speak my life history, I started fiddling with violin from about 8 years old. Piano came before, but the ability to move all ten fingers at once seemed to be absent from me. Violin soon became my hobby, and I played it for five years. This might be a short time period for violin manias, but for an inconsistent person like me, the period was long. Also, the reason I had to quit was because of my busy middle school life, which upset me. That time, I believed that I could start playing violin whenever I wanted to, and regain my hobby again. Sadly, this thought came from ignorance of my poor musical talents. Two years later, I forgot to tune my violin, let alone playing it. Due to my musical atrophy, I did not touch my violin again until I went into KMLA.
Before going to KMLA, I heard about two distinct orchestras: KMLA Orchestra and Minjok Orchestra. Suddenly, I felt this strong desire to play my violin again. However, after opening my violin case, I was soon very upset at my fingers which did not move according to my own will. Worse, I even forgot how to comprehend the musical scores. Dumbfounded, all that was left for me was practice. Through practice, skill improved slowly and gradually, but I was still happy. Actually, for the past years, I was sad that I did not have any musical instruments that I could play properly. Even though I was clumsy, being able to play the violin made me smile.
What started as a desire to go into an orchestra tuned into enjoying playing again. Eventually, I went into the KMLA Orchestra, where we learned several pieces. Practicing those pieces, I enjoyed being able to create sound once more with the violin. I frequently made mistakes, so I tried hard to cover them with practice. On top of that, what motivated me for practicing was probably the fact that I did not wanted to make mistakes that will ruin the whole song of harmony. My brain told me that ruining will mean humiliation, and I certainly did not want to get humiliated.
The orchestra was preparing for the school’s concert, which definitely excited me. Years have passed since I last played for the public. I wanted to do well. There were practices every first self-study period and during lunch time. The practices felt tiresome, but when actually practicing, the worries were gone and I felt some sort of catharsis. Practices passed, and the concert day had come. After a deep breath, the show started. Our song went quite well without any serious problems. The concert was thrilling as the audience clapped. Once again, I felt the feeling that I felt years ago: enjoyment.
From the day I picked up my musical friend, I never regretted about playing violin again. It gave me more pleasure than I expected and returned me a hobby. Now, I do not feel upset about not being able to play musical instruments. Instead, I feel happy about regaining one of my lost skills. I cannot say that I am fluent, but I can say that I truly enjoy vibrating the strings.
Are you in the KMLA or Minjok orchestra? I thought both were fantastic, and I was proud of every student that made that concert far exceed everyone's expectations. So this a nice reflective essay about getting back your passion for a difficult instrument.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, I can remember many times when a hobby fades out of fashion, or when you have to give something up. It feels weird and you capture that mood well. Neglecting something and hiding it away is not a good feeling.
Good writing.